I have been doing near full-time activism for over 10 years. Right to choose, LGBTQ issues, immigration reform, and just general “get this person elected” stuff.
I’m tired of it. I’ve lost a lot of my enthusiasm. Sometimes it’s too hard to remember the enthusiasm I used to have for new and innovative organizing. I find myself getting mad when people are too enthusiastic about something that I know is NOT a big deal. I have no patience for small-town politics. I’m losing patience for DC Politics.
My passions aren’t dead, but they are waning. I want a new way to be involved in change. I yearn for a way to be involved without doing the same things over and over expecting different results. I want a way to make it less about the politics and more about the issues. That is one of the reasons I really love the Standing on the Side of Love campaign, the group I went to Phoenix with. It’s about LOVE, first and foremost, with the understanding that it is love that will win in the end. Sure, we were in Phoenix to protest SB 1070, but at the core we were there to say “We love all people. This is not OK.”
I guess what I really don’t like is anger, mean people, lies, deception, or having to hide your true values for political gain. I am sure that Preside Obama really does support the Community Center/Mosque near(ish) Ground Zero. I have a lot of faith in that man, and as a human I am sure he supports it. But he has to hide that and say, “they have the right.” He can’t state his true opinions on so many things. That bugs me. That is why I will never go into politics.
It’s not that I think everyone should or would want to be able to say everything they feel at all times. But about some things, about moral issues, I just hate the idea of having to hide for X or Y or Z when X, Y and Z have nothing to do with your personal convictions.
So I’m taking a break. From activism I’m phasing it out slowly, keeping the stuff I’m in love with (hence brown-out, not black-out), and ditching what no longer makes me happy. Eventually I will add stuff back in, but for now I am going to focus on my own development of myself as an adult who is just starting life. I am going to focus on what makes me happy and what makes me feel good and what makes me feel like I’m making the world better, not just different.